Hello everyone its been a while since I blogged. I can honestly say, its because I have been busy, I am barley writing either, I have written a short story that will soon be published along with other short stories. I also have some works in progress but finding my groove is taking time.
I am busy though, For some of you, you might not think its a big deal, it may just sound like everyday stuff. But for me it is a big deal. I went through a major life change and its just a year this month. I still have some anger I still may shed a tear or two but its all far and few between.
Let me start by stating I am still amused about how people reacted to my situation, some friends and some family, of course no one on my side, (how convenient)… but that’s the way it goes sometimes, blood is thicker then water, always, and god forbid you speak bad about a person who dies…well I’m not just anyone, I was a wife, A good wife, I was a friend, A good friend, I was an Aunt and sister-in-law..and a dam good one, I get along with everyone, and if I don’t, I don’t make it known for the sake of family and friends… not into drama and I would never hurt my significant’s other’s relationships with their family and friends.
Because I was good I feel it so very necessary to explain how I was miss treated and so very wronged. I do believe my late, soon to Ex husband was mentally ill somehow…I tried to tell people and only a few believed it but all they could say was get out. When I reached out to his side of the family I was ignored even though they all knew there was a problem, but I realize that is what his side did, his parents were very secretive, but look what happens when you sweep stuff under a rug. A Divorce, or sadly a death… nice right?
I kept asking around not to be nosy about what he was doing and the answer was always the same… “Haven’t Talk to him” There is the problem, no one wanted to help. How could you not listen to me when I had tears in my eyes! After he died and I found out what he was up to… well shit, it just confirmed he was not right, and then I was called a lair by most, and some just shied away from me because I believe it was a rough pill to swallow, Well, put yourself in my shoes! some of you, I used to stick up for when Paul talked bad about you and you walked away from me or worse, you immortalize him without ever considering me and what he did to me, I’m the one who is here and sees your actions, hear’s your words.
Its okay now though, I know I don’t need you to believe anything, and certainly don’t need friends or family that would not at least hear my side and openly have a healthy talk, you are the negatives that induce enabling people who might of needed a little one on one talk.
But I am too busy now to wonder about your feelings when you were not worried about mine. I’m too busy making a new life with a wonderful man and his family. I’m too busy taking care of a new home I bought by myself. I’m too busy worrying about my own bills and health and everyday life stuff. I’m too busy having fun with MY Real friends, the friends who built me up and stayed by my side. I’m too busy making new friends, I’m too busy building up other friends who might need me now. I’m too busy trying to make a career for myself. I’m too busy taking care of my dogs. Too busy letting go of the horror show that was my past. I’m too busy Not crying and laughing a lot more.
I’m too busy getting stronger everyday…